It's officially 1:37AM (WAY past my bedtime) and I've already attempted to go to sleep once tonight. However, there is a problem. I don't know what I want to do with my life. For some reason, instead of putting off this question and enjoying a carefree existence like every other third year student, I think about it every waking moment. This question burns in the back of my mind, distracting me from everything including my beloved sleep. The other day I decided that I wanted to go to law school. It sounded like such a great decision, so definite. Then tonight I'm lying in my bed thinking, law school? That is so not me. For the past year of my life I have had my heart set on the world of advertising, a land far away from the stress of the law library. I mean we are talking a place where you can wear jeans to work. Now, I dont' know what spurred this sudden turn around, but whatever it was I think it had something to do with fear. We are entering into the part of our lives where decisions seem so LIFE CHANGING. I play out "what if" scenarios in my head like I've got nothing better to do... which might not be too far from the truth. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all, loud and clear, that I, Katie Chapin, have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life, so if ever at any point I tell you I do know, then you know I'm lying.
2 comments:
I stealthily stalk you because I love your blog. I wish I had something to blog about, but my life is boring, and there's no way I could be as creative as you are, so really -- why try?
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I've been where you are. I remember the day I decided to go to med school when it all of a sudden hit me that I'd never be an accountant. I'd never particularly wanted to be an accountant, but it was strange to think that that door was closed forever. I'd also never particularly wanted to be a doctor, either, so why open that door to the exclusion of all the others? It's an overwhelming feeling.
But know that you don't have to make a decision now and stick to it. You can always go back and open doors, adjust your career path as your life directs, etc. While I'm still in medicine, I decided at the end of residency that I wasn't really that interested in doing traditional medicine -- so why start? Hence, I opened my own practice where I exist solely to make people look pretty. I don't save lives, but I make people happy -- and I think there's value in that. There have been bumps in the road, and I don't know if I'll do this forever -- but I'm happy doing it right now, and that's the most important thing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this -- don't feel like whatever decision you make today or tomorrow or whenever locks you in to anything forever. Career paths can be modified ... or can be left behind altogether. Do what makes you happy -- and that may change along the way, so modify your plans accordingly. Life's too short to be stuck doing something that you hate.
Don't panic ... it will all work out in the end. And also, I love your blog!
Thanks Pamela, I can always count on you for good advice :)
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