November is the official National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and I've decided to write a book. The requirements are that you begin writing on Nov. 1 and you pass the finish line of 50,000 words by midnight Nov. 30. Don't worry. I'm not naive enough to think that anything other than a jumble of messed up thoughts and characters will come out of this, but yet I am still excited.
The past few months I have spent all of my time in an environment that requires creativity on a deadline. This has been one of the most challenging aspects of my assignments. Usually I spend half of my time on the "I can't do this" train. After hours of pacing around my room, pulling out my hair, and frantically searching the web for any source of inspiration, I usually hit a breaking point. I sit on my bed and cry. And, somehow, after all evidence of this minor breakdown fades and my face returns back to its normal non-splotchy form- I reach that optimal "I can do this" state. I don't know why I need to go through this cycle, but it has sort of inserted itself as my creative routine. However, I've decided that this creative routine is something that I can combat, like my public speaking anxiety or my fear of driving [no need to get into the details on those, but lets just say they are improving!]
Anyway, my way of combating the gray cloud that follows me around during those creative deadlines is to write a book. Yes, simple, and somewhat disconnected I know, but I have extreme faith that this will help.
First of all, this is creativity that will not be judged. My book represents a space where I can write whatever I want and not fear what other people think. I'm not writing for my professor or my classmates. I'm not writing for my friend, my roommate, or my mom or dad. This month I'm writing for me.
If I want to write a sappy love story, I will. If I want to insert a character that is undeniably similar to myself, I will. If I want to use a excess amount of adjectives to describe an amazingly perfect, phenomenal, extraordinary scene, I will. This book has the potential to be the worst collection of thoughts to ever hit the page- and therein lies the beauty of this undertaking.
