The Triple Woo.

The "Triple Woo" was a little something I picked up from a man we know only as 'tequila guy.' Last night the fam went to the Steely Dan concert at Wolf Trap. For those of you who have never been to a concert with the 40-50 yr old crowd, you are really missing out. We were lucky enough to grab a spot on the lawn next to the best tailgate in town, 'tequila guy' & friends, and boy did we learn a lot. First of all, I am planning on incorporating the "Triple Woo" into all aspects of my life. It is simply a call out consisting of two fast short woos followed by a longer drawn out third woo. This can sometimes be confused with the quadruple woo, which tries to squeeze in another quick woo...it's not quite as effective. Anyway, this was tequila guy's favorite cheer during the concert. Not only were we impressed with his woo'ing, but he also introduced us to the one handed egyptian dance [probably due to the drink glued to his other hand] which included a flip of the palm to make up for the lack of a back hand move. I think we have the new dance move of the summer on our hands here. Woo Woo Woooooooooooo.

Just His Luck.

Last night around 7:45 PM we got a phone call from Tyler informing us that he was on his way to the emergency room. He got hit in the eye during a game of basketball. My Mom had been hoping he would phone to tell us why he missed dinner... I guess he got off the hook. Anyway, I volunteered to go to the ER with my mom, which turned out to be an all night event. When we pulled up to the hospital, there is Tyler standing outside the doors of the ER holding ice on his swollen shut black eye that was also bleeding... Let me repeat STANDING OUTSIDE. For future ER visits Rule #1: Always go INSIDE and get your name on the list immediately. Anyway, I jumped out of the car while my mom parked and ushered him in to start the paperwork. My mom joined us and we all sat in the waiting room. First of all, this experience alone kind of made me want to volunteer in the ER. It was completely out of control. There was a woman behind us who was moaning as if she was going to have childbirth, and yet no one was doing anything for her [my mom eventually went over to her to ask if there was anything she needed]. Then there is a guy who comes in and while he is trying to sign in, he falls to his hands and knees and is throwing up, while the receptionists did nothing... Again, my mom goes up to the desk and asks them to get a wheelchair for him...? Something is wrong with this picture. Eventually, we got called into the back room and Tyler was getting the normal blood pressure check and then the guy had him look at the seeing chart. The guy asked Tyler the number of the line that he could read...to which Tyler replied, "I can't even read the numbers." Obviously the kid couldn't read anything on the chart and the guy was sitting there laughing saying, "Who is this guy, Dr. Mcdoogle?" or something cheesy like that because he thought Tyler was joking around with him. WHO JOKES AROUND IN AN EMERGENCY ROOM?
Anyway after we got done with that paperwork, we were sent back out into the waiting room, and then about an hour later we were called back to wait in a room that had a small board inside saying "The Fast Track Team". We later decided this team should be renamed to "The Slowskies." We ended up spending about 4 hours in this room, waiting on Bob, the physician's assistant on duty. Poor Bob, I feel bad for the guy, he was the only one working back there [He later informed us he thinks it might be time for him to retire.] Anyway, while Tyler laid there, my mom and I kept watch outside the window. We were particularly entertained by the racoon look of the nurse at the desk outside our window. Apparently she plays tennis and walks everyday... however, my mom recommended she get some smaller sunglasses. At about 1 o'clock we were FINALLY cleared to leave, and everything turned out OK. Tyler later blamed the whole incident on the Lindsay Lohan movie, "Just My Luck" that I made him watch earlier that day... apparently her bad luck rubbed off on him. That Lohan girl is just causing trouble everywhere.

Dentist Speak.

About a year ago, I graduated from my childhood dentist/orthodontist. I wasn't quite ready to leave, but one day as I was sitting in the chair [surrounded by pre-schoolers playing with the prizes from the prize box], the dental hygenist who looked not much older than me said, "Hey there sweetie, how old are you?" As the number 20 came out of my mouth, I knew it was time to move on. So today was second appointment at my new dentist. She's actually very nice and even remembered that I had spent a semester in England. However I think the reason I like her so much is that when she asks me questions, instead of me having to try to speak with three different gadgets in my mouth, she actually removes her tools, allowing for a coherent response. A common courtesy that is rare in the dentistry world. Anyway, after she had checked out my teeth, I was left with another woman to do some polishing & cleaning. Again, very nice, however she had on one of those things that cover your mouth, and for the life of me I could not understand what she was saying. I tried to smile and nod in between her sentances, but my lips were so dry from the air sucky tool that even that was hard to do. However, I was able to catch one key sentance before she moved on to the flossing. She said, "You have such beautiful eyes." I'm sitting there in my reclined chair with this woman's hands in my mouth, and all she can comment on is my eyes? Great, my eyes are beautiful, but what about my TEETH? I thought there was some sort of unwritten rule that when in the dentist chair, at least one person must tell you what beautiful teeth you have... At least I got a free toothbrush out of this deal.

Are you a real person?

I was given my first assignment as a fourth year today: secure rooms in Charlottesville for graduation. My mom left specific instructions for me to call the hotel at exactly 10AM. She said all I had to do was leave my name and phone number on an answering machine and then the hotel would call me back. It sounded easy enough. This morning I set an alarm for 9:45 AM to make sure I'm all dialed up and ready to go at exactly 10. I gave it a test run around 9:55 AM to see if I could cheat the system and get in early, but all I got were endless rings. I now realize this was a good sign. I called at exactly 10, and got the "I'm sorry all lines are busy at this time. Please try calling back later." I heard this lovely message about 25 times in a row, then decided it was time to call in reinforcements. I handed Tyler the house phone, and we both pushed redial all through breakfast. No luck. So finally around 10:40 I get a ring. YES. However, it just kept ringing and ringing until I was about to hang up. Then I heard a voice A REAL VOICE. "Hello Courtyard Marriot." I quickly blabbered out, "Hi, I'm calling to make reservations for next years graduation." Instantly, I hear rings again. Lots of em'. After this round of rings, again I hear, "Hello Courtyard Marriot." Great, this time I talk a little louder, "Hi yes, I'd like to reserve rooms for UVA graduation next year." BAM. Rings. Finally I hear the voice again, this time a take a new approach:
Me: "Hi IS THIS A REAL PERSON?"
Lady: "Yes..."
Me: "Ok, I've been calling and I keep hearing your voice, and then BAM it start ringing again. What am I doing wrong?"
Lady: "Its a lottery system, you just have to keep waiting until you get through."
Me: "Thanks."

Then back to the ringing... THEN wait, I immediately got through to the answering machine! I think that woman must have been either amused or annoyed, but whatever it was, SHE SENT ME THROUGH! YAY! So now, the rest of my day is going to consist of sitting idly by my phone waiting to hear back from my new found friends at the Courtyard Marriot.

Katie Chapin II.

This morning I awoke for the 7AM mass (my mom's doing) and I decided to check my email right before we were about to leave. Horrible decision. The only email in my inbox read: "Katie Chapin has sent you a message on Facebook." So, I'm sitting there thinking, "Ok I know I write on my own wall all the time, but GEEZ how did I manage to send myself a message!" So I humor myself and click on the link. There it is, sitting in my inbox...this lovely message:

"I exsisted before you, I think you legally change your name to katie chapin the second."

Great, I am now aware of the fact that there is another Katie Chapin roaming around somewhere in Lincoln, Nebraska. My life feels totally unoriginal now. I think the only person who really can understand what I'm feeling right now is John Proctor himself.

"How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!"

My only comfort in this whole fiasco is that I don't fancy ever finding myself in the corn district. So, Katie Chapin II, lets make a deal. You get the Mid-West. I get everything else. Great.

... and then I found 20 dollars.

I was walking my dog with the 'rents yesterday. Yes, you can oooh and awww now, we do walk the dog as a family. Cute. Anyway, we were rounding the corner and Taz (my dog [see the picture], sometimes also referred to as Princess Tuzu) was pulling me over to sniff something. Usually she's trying to capture fallen apples, sticks, squirrels, you name it. So there I am yanking on the lease, so we can continue our walk, and then I look over. My dog has sniffed out a lonely $20 bill just lying there on the sidewalk. I picked it up, yet instead of being excited for having $20 in my hand, I was thinking about how great it is that I can now end my pointless ramblings with "...and then I found $20." I think I might need to change the title of my blog to something more like: Representing the Loser in All of Us. Oh, and to add to your excitement, I'm almost done with "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and I've just placed an order with Amazon for 2 great additions to my motivational library: 1) How to Be Your Own Best Friend 2) It's Not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want to Be. While sending myself a package at camp may be lame, I'm obviously going to be voted most popular when I show off those bad boys in the Feedbag. In case that fails, I've preordered Harry Potter so as to bridge the gap.

"To bee or not to bee."

Last night was perhaps my favorite TV event of the year: the 2007 Scripps National Spelling Bee. If you've never watched, then you are missing out. What could be better than watching the culmination of years of parents breeding their middle school children into talking dictionaries? Obviously nothing. My favorite contestant this year was Joseph Henares. He walked up to the microphone and was read his word: punaise, meaning bed bug. After a few, "oh my gosh"es under his breath, he then asked if he could spell bed bug instead. It was the only sign of a real kid within all of these little spelling machines. The best part was that the parents are just as in to it as the kids. Their eyes are shut tight with anticipation as the kids frantically search their brains for any recollection of the most obscure words in the English Dictionary. I'm thinking this competition is right up my alley. Maybe I should save money and instead of buying children's books, I'll just let my kids read the dictionary.